Ironhide Week Part 1

Does your Universe Ironhide have problems?

Blue face? Droopy, depressed, or just plain Cullen sullen expression?

Can he even see up to aim at those pesky deceptijet seekers?

“Hey! Now hold on, yer makin mah circuits sizzle!”

What about floaty crotch syndrome? A massive pelvic guard does little to impress the fembots if it’s not attached properly.

“Ah’m about ta use that keyboard ta home-row some manners, on yer face!

Okay, okay! Fine, you type for a while…

“Don’t mind if I do.”

They don’t make em like they used to. All this new fangled modern stuff like ‘heads’ on bots. Why, back in my day-

You were made in 2008.

“…”

Yeah.

“Tarnation!”

Back in 83, I was lucky ta get ah sticker on ah square block behind ah windshield. Over twenty some years, no respect. Now I finally get some head-

*snicker* *snicker*

“What?”

“Teehee.”

“Oh, nothing…”

“Yeah, Ah’ll bet.”

Well now Ah’ve got one, but the darn thing has me starin at mah own skidplate. Insult ta injury, they dolled me up in that allspark blue, fer Prime’s sake! Looks like I got Papa Smurf all over mah face.

“But… But we weren’t laughing!”

“Well now you won’t. Now git!

Maybe I should take over now, before google classifies this as fanfiction.

“Fanfiction?”

Yeah, you should google it later. Try “Megatron Starscream slash.”

Just, not on my computer…

*ahem*

So, Transformers Universe is here again, and with it the return of Classics. G1 inspired toys with modern technology, Classiscs 2.0 brings us such fan favorites as Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and even Ironhide. Not counting the movie line or botcon exclusives, Ironhide’s never had a transforming toy inspired by his g1 animation model- let alone one with a head.

Unfortunately, modern technology comes with modern production issues. Ironhide probably fit together perfectly when he was designed, but somewhere between the test shot and the factory molds, he just doesn’t fold up all the way into bot mode. Some things (like two of the backpack screws) were probably added after a drop test, and some are factory mistakes (blue face), while others are just poor design.

As always, when I get a new transformer if there’s something that bugs me about it, I try and find a way to fix it. Usually, that’s just a small modification that enhances the toy, but Ironhide needs fixed just to fit together correctly.

Not everyone modifies their toys. It can be scary, and even feel taboo.

But you can do it, and I can show you how!

So join me this week for a series of mods, the first two necessary, and the third one optional but awesomely so, and turn your Ironhide from a crotchety old hobble of a transformation…

into an ornery assemblage of articulated whoop-ass!

(Mistaking Ghost Rider for Death, Ironhide pulled an Arnold Rimmer and kicked him in the nuts.)

See you all tomorrow for Part 2!

~Matt Booker

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