Dear Douglas

Dear Doug,

It was nice to have you crash at our place the other night. Staying up late watching Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, The Legend of Neil, and Father Ted.

But I want you to know, Bacon saw the note you left in the bathroom.

Later I found Bacon lying on the bed, begging me to eat it.

You really hurt it, Doug. But you’ve made your choice.

(Unless Cheese is French and into threesomes, cause Bacon might be into that.)

~Matt Booker

7 thoughts on “Dear Douglas

  1. Matt,

    Bacon is not famous for it’s prudish nature. I mean, I’ve seen Bacon Double-team cheese and beef many many times in my life. All covered in white sauce, stuck to a pair of buns, they just beg anyone who comes along to join in their taste festival. The only thing I can think of is that you have bacon from a jewish pig, who’s self hating or otherwise kosher.

    Try wrapping your head around THAT one!

    Cheese is my girl, you can do about anything with her and she always ends up melting all over anything hot that she comes in contact with.

  2. You do know that the burgers are cooked on a bed of onions, so when you order no onions they just scrape em off, right?

    White Castle is such a frickin racket, anyway. I don’t blame them, but seriously, they advertise as being so cheap you can buy em by the bag, but if you look at them proportionally they are really expensive.

    Compare a white castle cheesburger with say, the old pricepoint on a mcdonalds double cheeseburger. Side by side, the mass difference is significant, but the price difference is comparable.

    So not only are the things expensive for the size, but they’ve tricked people into believing they are so cheap that they can be bought en masse.

    Again, I don’t blame them. Hooray, capitalism!

    But I’m too cheap to eat there, even if the closest one wasn’t 3 hours away.

    (That being said, they are tasty on occasion, and I used to order mine without onion because, even though they just scraped them off, I liked the onion flavor better than the onion texture. [Which is odd, as now that I know how to cook I use onions frequently. However, cooked onions are much more awesome than steamed\almost raw onions. I hate raw onions, but I like cooked onion flavor. I usually cook em till they melt enough to not be noticed texture wise.])

    ~Matt Booker

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