Step 1: Your Mace!
Yet another in-joke for a title. Of course, yesterday’s situation was an inside joke, or at least something funny inside Sunstreaker.
So Lugnut has a mace. It’s pretty cool, what with the action feature and all. There are two main problems with it, though. First of all, Lugnut holds it up near the business end of the mace. That’s great for standing around looking threatening, but not so easy when roughing up Autobots.
“Roughing them up for the GLORY of MEGATRON!”
“OUR GLORIOUS LEADER SHALL-“
Yeah, that’s enough of that.
You aren’t going to be interactive with this guide. Not to that extent, okay? You’ll just go on and on about the mega Tron you have in your pants.
“I HAVE NO NEED OF PANTS! BEHOLD, MY- Wait. Are you implying a sexual lust for the PERFECT body of my most esteemed Megatron?”
“He who is all that is man!”
… Yes. I’m actually not implying. I’m being pretty blunt about it.
“HA! And HA again! All shall KNEEL before the mighty girth of Megatron!”
Really? Do I even have to say anything at this point?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My devotion to Megatron is strictly that of a PLT.”
Penis Love Transaction?
“Platonic Loyal Transformer.”
“It’s true! Why, just the other day I had sex with a human female!”
“YES. It was that mechanically inclined fleshling from the Bay movie.”
Yeah, are you sure it wasn’t just-
“Her hard metallic orifice yealded to my-“
That’s enough! Consider your intentions proven.
“Good! Now, we should get back to the guide, so I may ejaculate more about Megatron’s GLORIOUS… ness.”
No. You’re gonna be quiet for a while. I can already feel the readers shuddering worse than the start of the Swoop guide, when it looked like Grimmy was going to narrate.
*heard in the background*
“HEY! YOU THAT HOT MOVIE LADY?!”
“Why you smell like pineapple?”
Lets… Lets try this again tomorrow.