Post Easter Post

So, Easter weekend was pretty good. Hung out with soon to be in-laws, ate lots of deviled eggs, ham, and rolls. My future Mrs. proved once again how awesome she is by getting me a Classics Erector. (I still have my original Erector, just missing his crane.) I don’t know why that Toys R Us still had him, but he was the only one. He’s got great paint apps and his saw blade isn’t bent. (Apparently so many blades were warped that it’s mentioned on the tfwiki.)

And of course no family event is complete without an inappropriate joke from me… I tend to make ones that dance the line between ‘plausibly innocent’ and ‘perverted.’ This year was no different…

At the Easter gathering hosted by her great grandma, there is always a pinata full of candy and they have the little kids each take a swing at it. This year, it didn’t last too long as the pinata was kind of flimsy. It was in the shape of a pink guitar with Hannah Montana on it.

I started off with, “Well hey, at least it’s something everyone wants to smack.” That got a couple of groans, but I followed quickly with, “You know, in urban areas the Rihanna one is pretty popular.”

The ones who knew about it laughed.

Now, I try to be selective about this things. First, I dance that aforementioned line of deadpanned innocence and calm perversity, but I also don’t want them to be frequent enough to be annoying. If all you say are jokes and puns, you seem shallow and annoying. It’s better to hold a good conversation and throw something in the works when no one’s expecting it, or when it’s entirely inappropriate but you say it with such casual seriousness that they stutter and laugh instead of wanting to punch you.

Later on, the adults were gathered on couches and fighting off food induced nap temptations, when someone brought up the subject of getting a more sturdy pinata for next year.

“All it took was a couple of hits and that thing put out,” I agreed. (The first hints of people suspecting humor afoot got me squinted glances.) “But really, they should’ve known it would be easy…. It’s Hannah Montana.”

There was an awkward silence, followed by a couple of snickers, then a few full on belly laughs as the meaning of those two sentences became apparent.

To catch the sleepy up to speed, my future Mrs. hopped in with an on-purpose, “Matt! No dirty jokes at family gatherings!” Light bulbs flickered and sprang to life as people laughed, even the more reserved of the aunts.

I always like to see that, where there’s a moment of gears moving before the joke sets in.


So, those of you that celebrated, how was it?

“Man, I don’t quite remember but I think I ate too much…”

DP, I wasn’t asking y- SWEET ORANGE CRAP IN A HAT! What happened?

“Bad ham, maybe. Am I Jewish?”

I… I don’t think so?

“Damn. I would totally rock a yarmulke.”


“Oh yeah. Say, where do you keep your newspaper? This one might take a while… I found some body builder mags but they all smell like pineapple.”


Well said, Swoop.

~Matt Booker

18 thoughts on “Post Easter Post

  1. Had a nice easter too, but the dirty jokes came from my soon to be mother in law.
    + I felt like that stuffed Deadpool afterwards – too much food ^^

  2. I’m also the guy at family gathering who tells weird jokes, only I make sure mine are so nerdy that no one but me gets them. Then they’re left wondering “What the hell was he talking about?!” until they break down and ask me what I meant.

  3. Judging from the toy and hearsay the movie DP has adamantium bones, extending katanas in his forearms, cyclops-vision and a SAWD SHUT MOUTH °_O

    That is not Dp to me without his mouth working like a waterfall -_-

  4. You know, I can understand them changing things up a bit, even though I think it’s best when they stick close (or at least homage) the source material (after all, the source material has proven itself to be successful over the years [enough that a movie is being made]), and I try really hard to be forgiving when they really mess with things.

    For instance, X-Men 3… I really don’t like that movie, but I can at least enjoy parts of it. For instance, Juggernaut vs Wolverine fight, Juggernaut Bitch, Magneto, the fights themselves…

    But Deadpool’s mouth getting sewn shut? Seriously, that really seems like and outright insult. I’m just saying that seems like it, though. I’m not upset yet or anything, because early Deadpool looks cool and they could have an in-movie explanation for it, like the scientists hate Deadpool mouthing off so much they make a point to take his mouth away. I’d be cool with that.

    I’m still hoping that something happens at the end and Deadpool gets exploded or something, and he reforms as a hideously scarred, non-Baraka, merc with a working mouth.

    Or at least Ryan Reynolds will get to play Deadpool in a reboot ala the second Hulk movie.

    ~Matt Booker

  5. Also, just watched Hulk vs Wolverine a few days ago. It was mostly grunting and fighting, and I still don’t like the guy they always get to voice animated Wolverine (he sounds like he’s trying really hard to be really badass, and it comes off too forced), but I enjoyed it overall.

    The parts with Deadpool, though? AWESOME.

    ~Matt Booker

  6. I can take visual changes (Though movie Deadpool isn’t great looking), but stuff like taking away the mouth of a character who is very well known for saying crazy stuff? No thanks.
    One theory I’ve heard, and like is that at the end, something will happen to Deadpool, and almost kill him or whatever. Then, Marvel gives him his own movie. In the beginning of that, he’s lost all his powers except the healing, his mouth is back, and he gets a proper costume. Then we get a true Deadpool movie with Ryan Reynolds all the way through.

    I though Hulk Vs. Thor was really good though. They got a lot of obscure Asgardians, which is great. Plus, the next movie will be “Thor: Son of Asgard” so Hulk Vs. showed they could do Thor right.
    Deadpool completely stole the show in Hulk Vs. Wolverine.

    Deadpool: “I’m alive!”
    *Hulk lands on him*

  7. I may watch the Thor one tonight. Glad to know it’s got the thumbs up from you. (Your review actually got me to watch the wolverine one. I didn’t even know dp was in it at first!)

    As for movie Deadpool, I will friggin laugh if they sew his mouth to shut him up. If something happens to make him regular Deadpool, even better. Reynolds has been wanting to play Deadpool for a while and Huge Ackman is also the producer, so I really don’t think they messed it up that bad.

    ~Matt Booker

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