The MOAR You Know – Mini Figures

Hello again, dear readers, and welcome to another segment of The MOAR You Know. Today we’ll be examining mini figures and what they’re made of.

You might at first think “That’s easy! They’re made of chibi and cute with just a dash of awesome!”

The more sensible among you would answer, “plastic.”

While the first answer is acceptable, the second is not. Obviously you haven’t been paying attention, or you just weren’t raised on the likes of Lego.

But how many of us were raised on the likes of Lego, and never knew the interesting actuality of their composition, or the terrible truth of their secondary purpose?

You see, lego people are made of cheese.

Old, hard, glossy cheese.

Sound silly? Bah!

I submit to you this one horrifying fact about lego people- Velveta is where lego people go when they die.

I’ve been saying that for years, and it’s true. Look at the color! Look at the shape! Velveeta comes in bricks!

What better way for a little cheese man who spent his life working with bricks to become one in death, reconstituted into a delicious waxy cheese for all to enjoy!

(It’s also a little known fact that lego people hate the lactose intolerant.)

So the next time you bite into a delicious hunk of creamy velveeta, let your taste buds celebrate in the flavors of a fallen friend.


What about minimates? Articulated versions of brand name characters done up in a style reminiscent of the aforementioned cheese people, minimates are the marvel legends of mini figures.

But are they made of cheese?

No, that would just be silly.

Minimates are mostly made of energon!


At least, that’s what Ejector said…

Awww. He’s waving!


Playmobil? You don’t even want to know what they’re made of.

~Matt Booker

10 thoughts on “The MOAR You Know – Mini Figures

  1. Really, this post was just an excuse to post that picture of Ejector, but I wanted some more to the post and I’ve been randomly telling people that about lego people for years.

    ~Matt Booker

  2. I heart Ejector. He’s like the gremlin robot toaster little brother that I never had.

    Did you know he has a sound gimmick? Seriously, try to transform him without making slobbering goblin sounds. TRY IT AND FAIL. Yes my friends, Ejector has a sound chip, and it’s built into all of us!

    I’ve been told this is esoteric humor that only a dozen people in the world will get… but I’ll torture you with it anyway:

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