In Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, Long Haul didn’t do much aside from being big and green and badass. Really, he was just there to fill out some scenes and provide a reason to make the toy version.
As Constructicon transformers go, Long Haul is currently my favorite. He barely beats out Rampage, with Mixmaster after that. Long Haul gets points for being one of my favorite colors, and for being great without mods.
Yeah, I like to do mods, but sometimes it’s nice when HasTak gives me the day off.
What’s that? You were expecting me to mod him?
Well, there’s been a lot of fan angst about his wheels and the bar above his shoulders. In the concept art, the wheels sit at an angle above his shoulders, whereas the official transformation not only has them pointing behind the shoulders but also adds extra kibble above the head.
The gray bar itself is close enough to the concept art, but the awkward pointing wheels and the extra kibble make the official transformation look like Long Haul’s got some kind of awning.
I was worried about the wheels and the kibble too, but after a few minutes of fiddling around with him I found a much better transformation. Nothing complicated, and it’s easy enough to figure out that I’m not even going to begin to claim credit on this. Those of you that have him might already transform him this way as it is.
Rather than explain how to do it, here’s a picture.
The wheels now sit in a V formation, but unlike the concept art the treads of the tires are on the shoulders instead of the hubs. I personally like this better than the art, given that the wheels on the toy are about twice as wide as in that render. I just think they’d be too tall if they were pointing up.
But what about the kibble in between the wheels?
As you can see, the overhang of the dump truck’s bed is no longer an awning. It can slide back and down, sitting snugly against his shoulders and letting the bed of the dump truck fold up better. (No pictures of this. Just push it back and down and then fold the kibble up to your liking.)
That still leaves the gray bits, but look at Long Haul. He’s tall but covered in huge metal plates. The kibble and even the placement of his head create a bot who’s burrowed into his own armor. Some have complained he’s a bit lanky, but in hand he’s a very hefty transformer. The gray kibble fits in with his over all look, so it doesn’t bother me.
While we’re on the subject of glossing over kibble into things like armor, I figured out a fan mode for Long Haul. Maybe it’s the effect Back To The Future had on me as a kid, but I’ve always found it easy to see repositioned wheels as thrusters of some sort. Long Haul has a flying mode now.
Something else that’s neat about Long Haul is that he can have different style legs. I prefer the regular transformation here, but after a little fiddling it was neat to find that you can fold the back of the foot in and reverse the knees for a very minotaur inspired look.
One of the best parts about Long Haul is his hidden attack mode. So far he’s the only Constructicon without an official one, and I’ve not seen anybody else do this, so behold- Long Haul’s Cannon Boobs!
They’re are a pair of the breast weapons ever, launching nipple napalm with a shuddering rack attack. Truly, these lady berry blasters are good for ground pounders or even areola aerial assaults. Even Ironhide can’t help staring at Long Haul’s massive hooter shooters.
In keeping with that, as they’re positioned when not in attack mode I can see Long Haul making a flashy entrance by firing them, causing an explosion on each side of him like some pro wrestler entering the arena in a shower of sparks and thunder.
Please be advised, these fan cannons are only fan canon.