Better Transformation – ROTF Long Haul

In Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, Long Haul didn’t do much aside from being big and green and badass. Really, he was just there to fill out some scenes and provide a reason to make the toy version.

As Constructicon transformers go, Long Haul is currently my favorite. He barely beats out Rampage, with Mixmaster after that. Long Haul gets points for being one of my favorite colors, and for being great without mods.

Yeah, I like to do mods, but sometimes it’s nice when HasTak gives me the day off.

What’s that? You were expecting me to mod him?

Well, there’s been a lot of fan angst about his wheels and the bar above his shoulders. In the concept art, the wheels sit at an angle above his shoulders, whereas the official transformation not only has them pointing behind the shoulders but also adds extra kibble above the head.

The gray bar itself is close enough to the concept art, but the awkward pointing wheels and the extra kibble make the official transformation look like Long Haul’s got some kind of awning.

I was worried about the wheels and the kibble too, but after a few minutes of fiddling around with him I found a much better transformation. Nothing complicated, and it’s easy enough to figure out that I’m not even going to begin to claim credit on this. Those of you that have him might already transform him this way as it is.

Rather than explain how to do it, here’s a picture.


The wheels now sit in a V formation, but unlike the concept art the treads of the tires are on the shoulders instead of the hubs. I personally like this better than the art, given that the wheels on the toy are about twice as wide as in that render. I just think they’d be too tall if they were pointing up.

But what about the kibble in between the wheels?

As you can see, the overhang of the dump truck’s bed is no longer an awning. It can slide back and down, sitting snugly against his shoulders and letting the bed of the dump truck fold up better. (No pictures of this. Just push it back and down and then fold the kibble up to your liking.)

That still leaves the gray bits, but look at Long Haul. He’s tall but covered in huge metal plates. The kibble and even the placement of his head create a bot who’s burrowed into his own armor. Some have complained he’s a bit lanky, but in hand he’s a very hefty transformer. The gray kibble fits in with his over all look, so it doesn’t bother me.

While we’re on the subject of glossing over kibble into things like armor, I figured out a fan mode for Long Haul. Maybe it’s the effect Back To The Future had on me as a kid, but I’ve always found it easy to see repositioned wheels as thrusters of some sort. Long Haul has a flying mode now.


Something else that’s neat about Long Haul is that he can have different style legs. I prefer the regular transformation here, but after a little fiddling it was neat to find that you can fold the back of the foot in and reverse the knees for a very minotaur inspired look.


One of the best parts about Long Haul is his hidden attack mode. So far he’s the only Constructicon without an official one, and I’ve not seen anybody else do this, so behold- Long Haul’s Cannon Boobs!


They’re are a pair of the breast weapons ever, launching nipple napalm with a shuddering rack attack. Truly, these lady berry blasters are good for ground pounders or even areola aerial assaults. Even Ironhide can’t help staring at Long Haul’s massive hooter shooters.

In keeping with that, as they’re positioned when not in attack mode I can see Long Haul making a flashy entrance by firing them, causing an explosion on each side of him like some pro wrestler entering the arena in a shower of sparks and thunder.

Please be advised, these fan cannons are only fan canon.

Boobies. hehe

~Matt Booker

33 thoughts on “Better Transformation – ROTF Long Haul

  1. So he can have my little pony feet? =)

    i was going to pass on him because of the pics but your better transformation actually looks great! maybe rampage wont be so lonely since i can’t find mixmaster…

  2. I’ve totally been on the Move! No seriously, I moved and was without ye olde intarwebs!

    I just picked LH up last night and am in deep smit! He’s a seriously fun chunk. I’ve got him staring down HA Sideswipe. No guns in this knife fight!

    Playing catch up now and deciding on the whole Ravage tail mod. And yes jerk, now I want Voltron, simply because he’s! hahaha!

  3. My first glimpse of the ‘flying mode’, I thought you’d transformed him in a sort of gerwalk/turtle mode with his truck bed on his back. I thought about how hilarious it would be to have Long Haul hefting his bed around like an oversized backpack, stooping over like an old man and bitching about having to carry everyone else’s stuff.

    So now I’m actually a little disappointed that he doesn’t have a “massive burden” mode. But hey, he flies, right?

  4. I forgot to mention:

    Are those like 78k Triple FFF Auto Cannons of Doom? Even worse, what if he has something from Victoria’s secret to “Lift & Separate” the doom cleavage?

    I’ll stop, this could really get out of hand..See!

  5. Well done Matt, you’ve made me want another toy. I don’t think I’m going to compromise and buy him, but you’ve made green nipples look SO awesome.

  6. I tried your wheel transformation on mine. SO much better!!!! The backpack even folds up better and more compact. too bad hes always in boobee bomber attack mode now. ROFL


  7. Glad to see you came back, Bosch! I figured you’d say something about the Ravage mod since I used the flush cutters you told me about.

    Long Haul should be fine against those little rubber blades, just so long as he doesn’t try to attack HA Sideswipe from behind. ;)

    Fox, you do have a point… Come to think of it, Mixmaster even sort of has breast guns. Does Demolisher even have a chest?

    Esoteric, it’s hard to resist them. Truly, Long Haul is the She Hulk of Transformers.

    Monty, does that mean you’re wanting the supreme devs or just no constructicons at all?

    Very funny, GBG. Though I’m tempted to start calling them boobzookas.

    ~Matt Booker

  8. Ya know, if they make a legends classs LH, he could ride in the back pack of SS ala Yoda! “This is why you fail, your back pack is FRIGGIN’ HUGE!”

  9. I’d nearly forgot about those. I’m still hoping they’re not a store exclusive or sold individually.

    ~Matt Booker

  10. Supremastator is not as cool as legenstator because he doesnt transform. The mouth gimmick is actually cool, but not enough to buy him.


  11. I tells ya what, that well-articulated argument you put forth has totally changed my mind on them! I’m sure glad you shared all those deep thoughts that formed your reasoned opinion. How could I ever offer a rebuttal to that statement? Well, here goes…


  12. they dont usually even have knees and elbows but they have done it before on other legends figures so they dont do it every time that makes me say they suck. some are okay

    universe minibots look at hotrod he should have elbows at least!

    that okay? better than YOUR WRONG! see reasons are there why they suck :pppp

  13. Translatation: “Elementary, a response is in order this time, fellows. Legends figures dont always have good articulation even though they have done it on some before, thusly- boo hoo and what not, old chap.”


  14. And if articulation was consistent among the toys in ANY size class, you’d have a good point. Since it’s not… you don’t.

    Inconsistency (in just about any possible area) is one of the constants of pretty much any toyline. To blanket-hate an entire segment of a toyline for inconsistency, but not apply that to the rest of the line (or to all toys, really) is just irrational hating for it’s own sake.

    Of course, you even admit that “some are okay”, so you’re not even bothering to stand behind your statement, let alone argue it… but then you say “they suck”, blanket-hating again.

    Ironically, you aren’t being consistent in your opinion on consistency.

  15. So you’re accusing the other side now instead of even attempting to make an argument. Fantastic!

    To answer your question… I honestly don’t care. Legends can have 3 points of articulation, or they can have 30. You know why? Because they’re freakin’ Legends. They’re meant to be tiny versions of bigger guys, and the bigger guys are (ideally) where the articulation is at. They’re one step removed from World’s Smallest TFs. If you want complexity and detail and articulation and gimmicks, you should get the bigger TFs that have it, not the small guys who sacrifice a lot of it to drastically reduce their size.

    So again, I don’t care. I think size is at the core of the Legends class, not articulation. It’s about packing as much as they can of pretty much everything into that tiny frame. To despise them for a lack in one area means you’re not appreciating that they can deliver in varying degrees from multiple areas at such a small size… basically, I think you’re missing the forest for the trees on this one.

    Now you get to answer my question: how do you hate an entire size class for inconsistency in articulation, but not hate all size classes, seeing as they are all just as (and often more) inconsistent?

    Or in other, blunter words, why do you limit your narrow judgment to only one size class when you could apply your ridiculous logic across the board and irrationally hate all Transformers?

  16. Some of the Legends figures are great. They usually have either elbows or knees, and a few have had both. Plus, like I said, the Legends Constructicons are the only ones with robot and combiner modes.

    And, saying you hate Legends is the same as saying you hate all the G1 minibots. Bumblbee, Cliffjumper, Cosmos, Powerglide, Warpath,, need I go on? They were all the same size as Legends, and had worse articulation.

  17. Gobot Grimlock, that was lulzy.

    Phantaman, maybe you should try to better articulate your argument about articulation. I think you just said a quick opinion without realizing how broad it really was.

    My thoughts on Legends? I like them, but if they don’t have elbows, knees, hips, and shoulders (Classics 2.0 Legends Warpath) it takes something that really stands out for me to like them (Classics 2.0 Legends Wheelie and Cosmos).

    Legends Constructicons? They’ll be bought. Do I like the deluxe \ voyager versions better? Yeah, but deluxe is my favorite size class.

    I really like articulation, but I also like small tfs. Heck, my favorite action figure scale has always been about 3 3/4 inches. My favorite animated Optimus is the deluxe cybertron version.

    But I do think you’ve got a point, Phantaman. I think Hasbro could do at least shoulders, hips, elbows, and knees on most of their legends. They have done it on some, and barring places where it wouldn’t look awful (like trying to put knees on that legends helicopter mold from those Classics three packs), they could do it on most of them.

    But they won’t.

    There’s something toy collectors need to understand, and once you do it’ll go a long way towards making you less bitter. HasTak is a company, and is there to make a profit. Just because it so often coincides with making things you like doesn’t mean that it’s their main intention.

    Putting knees and elbows on legends figures when they’re part of the transformation? That’s a given. Putting elbows and knees on a legends figure when it’s not needed? That’s a profit loss.

    The less pieces they cast, the less the toy costs to produce. Transformers molds aren’t cheap, especially the more intricate ones. Legends figures are supposed to be cheap.

    But hey, at least they’ve been doing a great job on the scout class figures!

    ~Matt Booker

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