Dear Luke

Dear Doug, Dear Luke,

It was nice to have you crash visit at our place the other night afternoon. Staying up late Eating pizza and  watching Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, The Legend of Neil, and Father Ted Olympic Curling while you opened all the transformers we picked up for you.

But I want you to know, Bacon Rampage saw the note you left in the bathroom.


Later I found Bacon Rampage lying annihilating  on the bed, begging me to eat it plotting to murder joint you.

You really hurt it, Doug. But you’ve made your choice. I don’t think it has anything to do with your note. I’m just sayin.

(Unless Cheese Mixmaster is French Paradron and into threesomes pineapple, cause Bacon might be into that Norman.)

~Matt Booker

10 thoughts on “Dear Luke

  1. In all fairness, I can’t be neglecting Rampage, as I do not have him to hate. So I’m pretty sure that any plotting is in fact independent of the note.

    My hatred of Mixmaster runs deep. He is not a Transformer. He is a pile of joints with a head sculpt. A sculpt that grins at me, humored by my attempts to transform him, mocking my frustration, urging me to KILL MURDER RAGE STOP SMILING AT ME YOU PLASTIC SATAN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN “NEVERMORE” RARGLE CRUSH MAIM–


    Mindwipe, on the other hand, is pure plastic love. We must love him. Mindwipe is our master. We will serve Mindwipe. Mindwipe is our master…

  2. Feh. Mixmaster is only complicated because it there are so many joints it can be hard to know which way they go. Between Mixy and Jetfire supposedly being difficult people are just turning into wussies. :D

    Mindwipe I have seen but Skystalker is hard as heck to find. Do you give him chicken legs?

  3. So, I still have yet to set up Price Adam’s molestation. I haven’t even gotten the fig out of the packaging yet because I’ve been so busy :(

    I DID find a cache of Playmates TNG figures at Goodwill though. $.25 a pop because I bought all 20. Mint on card. Yeah. Now, Luke was just complaining about how terrible they are, but I did something mind burningly funny.

    Tripple Teaming.

    It took me 27 minutes, a log of blue tack and a bunch of swearing, but damnit! It will be that way till I get bored with it. Then, it’s likely Buck Cake with elmer’s glue.

  4. I didn’t find the “gerwalk mode” for Skystalker to be that impressive, honestly. Half the TF jets can do it unintentionally anyway. This is just an official one… and frankly, I think it looks pretty crappy. I mean, when you get down to it, it’s… well, it’s a jet with legs. Whoop-dee-shit, hope it was worth losing your engines over.

    I just can’t fathom how that would really, honestly be a useful or threatening mode. On a Valkyrie it serves a specific and functional purpose. On Skystalker… not so much.

    And me, I’m probably one of the farthest things from a wussie when it comes to Transformers. A good 99.9% of the time I can figure out the transformation of any figure, from Legends all the way up to Masterpiece, with minimal effort and no instructions. Mixmaster caused me to resort to instructions AND Matt’s figure in truck mode to see how it all fit, and it was STILL a pain in the ass.

    And then Hasbro went and put “ages 5 and up” on his box. Yeah fucking right. I’ve solved Rubik’s Cubes with less effort and frustration.

  5. I’ve yet to pick up an ROTF Constructicon, but this, uhm, colorful, reaction to Mixmaster is starting to put him on top of that list.

    But what I’d give for a Deluxe or Voyager Scrapper…

    I’d also agree with the rarity of Skystalkers. I think all of his fellow wave mates in the Scout class have already been released here in the Philippines, but I’ve yet to see him anywhere, even in the hobby shops where they jack the prices up at least 10% (rage). In all likelihood, I’ll get Mindwipe before the little guy.

    And Matt, way to copy/paste an older entry! You’re actually making me fear pineapple…

  6. Matt got my the Skystalker, and he’s seen exactly two. We think they (him and Scattorshot) are either shortpacked or part of a revision wave that’s basically shipping on top of/with the Brakedown/Divebomb/Wideload/Sonar wave.

    @TD: Ah, my mistake. With Mindwipe I like the regular legs. Nothing really against the reverse-knee (although it is becoming so common among movie figures that it’s beginning to grate a bit), I just like them better.

  7. Mixmaster isn’t that bad. I think you should transform him a couple more times and you’ll get the hang of it. :)

    Granted, I was there when you started to develop your hatred of Mixmaster over a half hour of frustration, but it’s really just a couple of things you need to know and it’s easy after that.

    Thanks Jon M. Just further evidence that maybe Skystalker is shortpacked.

    I have seen more Scattorshots than Skystalkers, though.

    And Doug, you do that instead of Bludgeoning He-Man? That’s disturbing, and yet a part of me wants to see a picture of it, if for nothing else but proof. lol

    Skystalker’s gerwalk kinda workds, in that the Valkrie’s have thrusters for feet and Skystalker has thrusters for ankles. Not that I like Skystalker’s ‘attack mode’, but at least it’s better than Ransack’s.

    Mindwipe, I usually have somewhere in between both leg modes.

    ~Matt Booker

  8. “Mixmaster isn’t that bad. I think you should transform him a couple more times and you’ll get the hang of it. :)”

    In the words of Kevin Smith: “I think you’re fucking wrong.”

    Don’t misunderstand me–I will eventually get the hang of him. But I seriously doubt that I will EVER say he “isn’t that bad” and enjoy him, which pretty much defeats half the purpose in owning him.

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