Simmons Was Right! – Sidearm Sideswipe

Agent Simmons of Sector 7 – a sane man to some, a fanatic to others, and a purveyor of delicious deli meat to all!

During his time protecting the free world from frozen doom, Agent Simmons became increasingly aware of patterns- a symbol here, a hieroglyph there,  a fossilized rubber ducky found in the vicinity of Mount St. Hillary– patterns which could tie directly into maybe possibly indicating that nbes might have visited earth before the arrival of nbe1 or even the cube!

But did anyone believe him?

Not even the Stonecutters!

Not even Sector 7, who keeps Atlantis off the maps, keeps the Martians under wraps,  robs cave fish of their sight, and rigs every Oscar Night!

But we do know…

Simmons was right!

It’s been over a year since we last approached this subject, but… certain members of my readership have… made it clear that they prefer that this is not a regular feature here on MattBooker.info.

But fear not, true believers! I’ve finally got a breaking piece of information that made it through the censors is up to our standards of quality and truthmanship.

Recent evidence has come to light, found in the dumpster behind the station on cleaning day at a hush hush police auction, which may in fact be a picture of an nbe circa 1985!

According to the police record, an amateur local nut and his teenage sidekick were being investigated for remote controlled illegal street racing. Survellience reported clocking a tricked out Delorian driving at speeds approaching 88 mph, but during the subsequent raid the car could not be found.

But among the items confiscated was a list of lottery numbers, a sports almanac, plutonium, a broken pink snowboard, and this picture.

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Click the picture for the full version!

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It clearly shows an nbe in some sort of transitional state, flying down a highway at night!

While readers here at MattBooker.info know this to be undoubtable proof, to silence any naysayers not reading this blog and prove the authenticity of the photograph I’ve contacted some experts for consultation.

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trakker “I doubt the plausibility of this photograph. Cars are just not aerodynamic enough to fly. Not without gull wing doors, anyway.” – Matt Trakker

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Obviously, a crack pot. Moving on.

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shaggy “Like, a robot? Man, if anything you’re dealing with some kind of spookified ghost car. Like, I was told there’d be snacks.” – Norville Rogers

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Not now. Not for you, Norville.

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JakeKong“I can’t comment on the authenticity, but if it is real, my flying car wants that thing’s number.” – Jake Kong

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Okay. Wait, what?

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raul“Oh man, I think I should really take this back to my, uh, lab for… analysis. Can I have a copy of this picture?” – Raoul

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tracygorilla

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That’s it! Time for a real expert’s opinion!

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simmons “Of course it’s an NBE! Where did you get this? And how’s the salami?” – Agent Simmons

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Spoken like a true American.

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~Matt Booker

7 thoughts on “Simmons Was Right! – Sidearm Sideswipe

  1. Thanks to Luke for the suggestion to add Raoul and Jake Kong as well as the quote for Jake Kong!

    ~Matt Booker

  2. Damn you! I’ve been doing such a good job at avoiding this purchase!
    But I might not be able to hold out any longer if he has a flight mode…
    RAR!
    -pkE

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