Ages WHAT and up? – Animal Squirts

Welcome to another new feature here on MattBooker.info, called Ages WHAT and up?, where I post pictures of seemingly innocent products and show you how perverted they actually are.

You know the phrase, “Whatever trips yer trigger?”

Ever thought that sounded a bit pervy?

If you said “No…” to that question, you’re too innocent to be reading this blog. Or the internet.

But since you’re already here, let me show you a picture of this seemingly innocent frog-shaped water squirter.

 

Mr. Frog's Wild Ride

It REALLY wants you to trip its trigger.

The age range for this product? Four and up.

If most of my email spam is telling the truth, then ‘squirting’ is not just popular, people pay a lot of cash to see it done. With that kind of money on the line, I don’t think any sane corporate executives would knowingly do something this daring.

But somewhere, dear reader, somewhere there’s a toy designer that knew exactly what he or she was doing, and probably still can’t believe how they got away with it.

Maybe this was even turned in as a joke to make fun of a clueless boss. Maybe it was done by somebody who wanted to get fired, and they got a pat on the back instead.

“Great job, Johnson! You’re getting a raise!”

Or maybe it’s completely innocent and it’s just– BWAHAHA! Sorry, sorry. Phew… I guess I used up most of my sarcasm earlier when I told a Justin Beiber fan their haircut looked ‘okay’.

Now, the company has at least two other versions of this, and the triggers are in the same place… but neither of those seem to be enjoying it as much as the frog.

Look at them!

O FACES

Clearly, the shark has had better.

The crocodile? It’s into it, but thinking of someone else’s hand.

But dat frog… It’s eyes are bugged out and rolled back, and you just know its gonna come to a shuddering squirt every time.

Every. Time.

 

Like the post?

Want to internet scold me for ruining your kid’s new water squirter?

Leave me a comment and let me know!

And if you want to ruin your friend’s kid’s new water squirter, use one of the buttons below to Facereddiggtwit or Stumblegooglelink it.

~Matt Booker

10 thoughts on “Ages WHAT and up? – Animal Squirts

  1. I think the body language from the shark and crocodile have simply been misinterpreted.

    The thing that makes me think this is not accidental is the mere fact that the mouths move, in addition to the bizarre triggering. Everything about this toy screams subversion. Or perhaps it screams something else.

  2. I think it’s definitely on purpose, just probably not by the company itself. I didn’t find it in a dollar store, or from a mail order catalog. Buzz Bee Toys makes stuff for national retailers. :)

    ~Matt Booker

  3. this is hilarious
    will you be doing a post on the animal shapes that “PEG” into each other :-)

  4. On the packaging, it says, “MOUTH OPENS TO SQUIRT!”

    On their website, it says, “MOUTH OPENS WHEN YOU SQUIRT!”

    That is a hilariously disturbing difference.

    ~Matt Booker

  5. And now that I look at the images of said “squirtter” a bit more closely, and to paraphrase Dave Atell a bit, his trigger is kinda a “Dog dick red” in coloring…

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