Ages WHAT and up? – Big Hugs Elmo

Welcome back for another installment of Ages WHAT and up?, a sporadic feature here on MattBooker.info where the content is spurred by random finds at random stores in isles on the way to the tiny plastic giant robot section.

What kind of random finds? Family friendly products that are only family friendly to the incredibly naive. They’re often sexually explicit, and always inappropriate.

Or maybe I’m just seeing perverted themes because I’m perverted.

Today we’ve got something that actually relates to a joke I did years ago, where I randomly picked up this book and used the Elmo puppet while talking in a cute but evil voice. Don’t let the picture in that link fool you, it looks creepy in person… especially if you make it rub its hands together, or have it hold a butcher knife.

So now that you have some context, you’ll understand why I nearly did a double take when walking by this…

"HE HE HE MU HU HA HA!"

 

Okay, so I’ve altered the image a bit.

But come on! What does that look like to you? Its hands are around that kid’s neck.

HUGS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.

Of course, sometimes it’s hard to tell if a kid is laughing or crying.

Or is that just me?

 

Regardless, I’m just glad this didn’t have Cookie Monster style googly eyes, or I’d have been tempted to buy it and add a motorized shaking feature. And fuzzy angry eyebrows, of course.

 

While the perversion in this product seems to be placed squarely on the packaging (it seems innocuous once out of it, at least), there was still some fun to be had in pointing it out.

Did this post suit your sophisticated palate, or have I once again left a salty taste in your mouth? What if I showered more before blogging?

Leave a comment and let me know!

~Matt Booker

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