Ages WHAT and up? – Inflatable Reindeer

Welcome back to another installment of Ages WHAT and up?, a feature here on MattBooker.info where the truth behind bored designers in the manufacturing industry is laid out in all its x-rated glory, where we ponder whether the product approval department is either lazy or lulzy.

Bucking the trend of having penises, penises, and nipple play, today’s post is decidedly less sexual.

At least it should be less sexual. If you find it isn’t, keep it to yourself. There’s a time and a place for those things, and it’s being researched by 4chan.

But what is today’s post about? A giant inflatable reindeer, of course!

So cute!

How cute!

It’s even got a red nose, so I guess this is supposed to be a giant inflatable Rudolph! And unlike the giant inflatable pumpkin monkey, it doesn’t look like a cock and balls!

Wait…

No, it wouldn’t… It better not have a cock and balls on the back of–

Rudolph with your nose so bright, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I’m not sure whether to be relieved Santa’s already taken Rudolph to the vet, or to just be squigged out it’s getting reindeer poo all over the door.

Both. The answer is both, dear readers.

Usually on something like this, there’s a reason for the naughty thing to be there, a cover story of some kind. The dick on the product is actually something functional, like a lever or a joystick.

But here? What the heck is that, other than a puckered reindeer sphincter with a brown squirt of poo coming out of it?

I didn’t want to examine it too closely, as the employees were already suspicious due to my lack of pants that day, but it looks like it might actually be a handle.

It seems like it would be easier just to put it in the place where it needs to be before you turn it on, but sometimes your giant inflatable lawn ornament just needs to be moved.

But why did they make it look like Rudolph was having a movement?

Probably for… shits and giggles.

 

So, dear reader, is this why Santa was such a jerk to Rudolph in that Rankin Bass movie? Is figgy pudding just a euphemism?

Leave me a comment and let me know! And don’t forget, you can share this post with your favorite humbugs using the links below!

~Matt Booker

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